It has been a while...

It has been a long time since I’ve opened one of my text editors to write anything substantial let alone a piece for my website. There were moments where I would double click Byword or Sublime Text, and then promptly close them after a few moments staring at the screen. My mind would go through the familiar emotional cycle of excitement, bewilderment, and fear. The same fear of something being wrong with my brain physically plague me. My mother had a brain tumor when I was in high school, and it has taken a long time for me to realize the irrational fear I have of my own mind being healthy. The same irrational thoughts only combined with my on-going battle with anxiety for an undisclosed amount of time in my life. If you want to know more about it, I wrote about my time dealing with depression previously at the beginning of 2015. My goal with this entry in my blog was to do a fast catchup on life and what has been happening since my last post in 2015. Time to queue up the montage music.

The biggest change from 2015 was my move to Irvine with my promotion to the Director of Web for Curse. My boss called me on my way to PAX Prime 2015 to offer me a chance to head up the web side of the app division. In my mind’s eye, I pictured myself on the west coast to final put down roots and the opportunity to do so was within my grasp. I accepted the offer and prepared for my move to sunny California. Overall the move was painless since the company used Graebel Van Lines to move me out there. I settled in fast and soon after being here, we began work on what would become the new Curse App. If you have not tried out our new version of the Curse App, check it out at https://www.curse.com.  A handful of months later, we would launch the app to the public. My team would shift focus and get CurseForge ready to move from its legacy stack to a more modern stack. We wrapped the initiative up a few days ago; my head is still spinning on getting two major projects completed this year. In between both initiatives, we would be acquired by Twitch. To say it has been a crazy ride in my career this year would be an understatement.

My approaching thirtieth trip around the sun is soon, so a decision was made to see to my mental health. I stopped seeing my doctor a little bit before heading to California. If I am being honest with myself, I was not seeing the results I expected from them. Sadly, I left under the pre-tense of time being an issue with the pending move. After crunch was finished on the app, I began to shop around for different doctors. I cannot stress enough the importance of finding the right professional. Each doctor gave me a different theory, suggested pills, or felt disingenuous toward the plight I was facing each day. I finally settled on Dr. Patrick Aleknavicius from Inner Fokus; it was his data driven decision making which sealed the deal for me. Four months have passed now, and things have gradually been improving each week. One of the biggest takeaways from going back to see a professional is making sure my mental health is a top priority.

One of my friends recommended a book to me called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Act of Decluttering and Organizing by Mari Kondo. During the first couple of chapters, my initial thoughts were skeptical of the techniques being taught in the book. The teachings seem to contradict all the motherly wisdom I received as child for straightening up a room/car/house. However, I began the process last week and can attest to the effectiveness of the teachings. I’ve donated over six bags of clothes, books, and games while throwing about the same in terms of garbage/useless stuff. One of the best side effects of the whole process is the re-discovery of my passions. Discarding the items that did not bring me joy was essentially eliminating white noise. I was left with only items that brought me true joy and passion.

With an urge to change my narrative and finding my passions again, I want to put more efforts into my creative urges. What will this mean for the blog? I am uncertain at this moment, but I know it is probably going to be a huge hodgepodge of my passions, life, and miscellaneous stuff. One thing I know for certain is I won’t make it an obligation to post something each week, but I know I’ll put forth effort each week toward it.

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